Backstage
by Dyjae Ishida
Summary: me and fwend with the main cast. WARNING: It sucks!


B --->My first one-shot. Fushigi Yuugi was all the rage when I wrote this stupid fic coz Statistics class was just plain boring. The summary? Me and my friend meet the cast, then mayhem explodes. Indulge. 

Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Miss Yuu Watase and is therefore not mine. And I don't give a manure about it. 

~ Backstage ~   
  


Dyjae brushed her hair with eagerness. She was doing a fic for Fushigi Yuugi. They'd start rehearsing if the cast and her partner were here right now. She just couldn't wait for Tamahome. 

"Dyjae-sama!!!" 

She cringed. She knew that voice came from none other than Tasuki. That poor boy, so hung up on her. 

They were all there: Mits and his Tama-neko, Chichiri in his kawaii mask, little Chiriko, vain and stupid Hotohori, Nuriko, Tamahome, baka Miaka, Yui, and Nakago. Oh, and silly Tasuki, too. 

"I'm here, too!" 

Lilca ran up to them, scripts in hand. She gave each one, but gave a special script for Hotohori. "This is for you, sempai," she silently said with a smile. But Hotohori seemed fixated on Miaka that poor widdle Lilca was ignored. And she knew it, too. 

She stomped her way beside Dyjae and sulked, wanting the wring Miaka's neck till she can't wring no more. "Hmph!!! Dsssgrrrr.......rrr...." 

"Okay, guys!" Dyjae called out. No answer. "Guys! Places, PLEASE!!!" she shouted her lungs out. 

"HOY!!!" Lilca shouted. And that seemed to quiet the whole lot of 'em down. 

Deej beamed at her friend. "Arigatou." Then she pointed at Hoto and Miaka. "You two, please come here. You're in this scene." 

Tamahome took a step forward. "B-but-" 

"Now Tama, they are the only ones in this scene," Dyjae explained. "You can sit right beside me," she said suggestively. 

Unbeknownst to her, Lilca was fuming mad. Steam practically came out of her ears as the fire burned in her eyes. She could kill Miaka. Or her so-called friend Dyjae. Sulking, she ran off to the wings.   


"You're cute,Tama-neko," Chichiri said, holding the cat. Just when Tasuki was passing by with his tassen. Then... slip! 

WHOOOOSH!!! 

Fire came out, burning the feline's tail, making him scar Chichiri's already-scarred face. "AUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" 

Lilca suddenly dropped the rope, letting a sandbag fall on top off... Nakago's head. 

Little stars and dancing Sois spun round his top. Then suddenly, with a shake of his head, he was back to normal and started chasing Lilca, wanting vengeance for her crime. 

Shaking Tama sat on Mit's head, now afraid of the bumbling Tasuki. Tasuki was hiding behind Chiriko, in fear that Dyjae might kill him for the wreck. 

Tamahome, knowing it was futile to argue with the scene thing, sat on the director's chair. A smug Deej sat down on Tamahome. 

PLOCK!!! 

Or so she thought. 

"Oooph!!!" 

She groaned in pain, her butt, which was already flat, became flatter at the crushing fall. She looked up and saw a triumphant Yui on Tamahome's lap, the chair moved to the right. 

"Why I ought to-" Dyjae began, getting up and balling her fists to give the bitch a good smack. 

"He's mine!" Yui declared, standing up and giving her a death glare. 

"Oh, shut the !@#% up already!!!" Dyjae yelled. "We all know that you are bound to fall in love with this Tetsuya guy anyhooz!!!" 

Tamahome, now free of the Yui load, tried to pacify the two. "Now girls... Ehehe... we have to be nice here..." 

Yui gave Dyjae a challenging look. "Then you also know that I would become Seiryuu no Miko." 

Dyjae snorted. "And is THAT supposed to scare me? Seiryuu-shmeiryuu! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!" 

Yui clung on to Tamahome like a drowning cat or like Jun Motomiya. "Tamahome is MINE. Period." 

Deej gritted her teeth. She was about to slap her silly when- 

"Iie!!!" Miaka shouted. She zoomed to his arm and pulled him to her. "He is mine, Yui-chan!!!" 

"MINE!" 

"NO, MINE!!!" 

"MINE, I SAY!!!" 

Dyjae just stood there, fazed at Miaka and Yui's major Tug-o-Tama while poor Tamahome suffered the agony of being pulled by two raving lunatics. 

"Miaka, our scene?" Hotohori drawled dramatically. 

A script fell down, enabling Tamahome to see the convo. His eyes went pop. "IT'S HENTAI!!!" he exclaimed. "No wonder Hotohori wanted to do this scene..." he muttered. Tamahome lifted his head to an escaping Dyjae. "I OBJECT TO THIS SCRIPT! CHANGE IT! CHAAANGE IT!!!" 

"I AGREE!!!" Lilca yelled at the five, Nakago's blade icy cold on her throat. "I didn't plan this, Deej, it was all you!!! I practically SLAVED over photocopying the fics, lugging the whole ton of 'em here, and my soon-to-happen death-in-the-hands-of-a-power-hungry- maniac is all I get for thanks?!" she shouted. "And you promised me a scene with Hoto!!!" she added. 

"Now, now..." Words seem to fail Dyjae. "I only did it coz-" 

"I'M the main character," Miaka supplied arrogantly. 

"You're just the daring exhibitionist, baka!" Lilca shot back, Nakago's sword ready to scar her precious neck. 

Miaka suddenly let go of Tamahome's arm, her lips beginning to quiver dangerously. 

BAM!! 

While poor Tama and Yui went rolling towards Mitsukake and Chichiri. Ow... 

Lilca, taking this opportunity, kicked Nakago where it hurt the most and ran to Hotohori. "I'll get you, onore," he groaned out. Ooh, the pain...

Lilca thought she was homefree. But then-

"Ooph!"   
  
Nakago grabbed her leg. He grinned maliciously. "Let's see if you're a girl or a woman..."

"EEEEEKKKK!!!"

"Get off her, BAKAGO!!!" Dyjae shouted, bopping his head with the clipboard. She had to save her friend, then pacify the bawling Miaka before the whole of Studio 45 drowns.

"GRRR..." Nakago was burning mad. He groped for her arm.

"Eeep!" Dyjae hid behind something. It was Tasuki.

"I'll protect you, Dyjae-sama!" Tasuki said, readying his tassen while holding Dyjae. He was planning to get a *reward* from her later.

"HELP TAMAHOME!!! she screamed. "TWO OBSESSED ANIMALS ARE AFTER ME!!!" She tried to wriggle herself free from his strong grip, but it was useless. So she went to her last resort- shrieking. Long and LOUD...

All the glass in the studio broke. The cast's eardrums were shattered. All except for Lilca who was peacefully drinking tea in one corner. Knowing her friend, it was handy that she wore earplugs all the time.   
  
Tasuki's grip was loosened. Deej was free. And raging mad.

"THAT'S IT!!! She yelled, throwing her clipboard. "I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL OF YOU!!!" She gave them THE look. "You're all a bunch of lowlifes! OUT!!!!" She pointed them to the door.

"Next time," she muttered to Lilca, "Let's get Sailormoon instead."   
  


---> Mou, gomen nasai! Deepest apologies to the die-hards of Fushigi Yuugi. I know how you feel, I've been there with you once, but I have seen the light, and I have realized that there is nothing more to this shoujo anime than the typical teenage love with lots of shounens and all that saving the world crap. Call me heartless, call me shallow. I call myself exercising my right of expressing my own opinions through writing. Comments, quirks, and flames may be directed to that little box thingy down below or to dyjae_minamino@eudoramail.com Ja, pipols!!! 


End file.
